Screen Sharing – Screen Sharing Turned Off but Appears as Enabled on macOS

To start screensharing:

sudo launchctl load -w /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/com.apple.screensharing.plist

To stop:

sudo launchctl unload -w /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/com.apple.screensharing.plist

The -w flag modifies the Disabled key as appropriate. It's best to let launchctl handle this, as the location where the config files are stored has changed a bit between OS versions.

I found the following code in a file I didn't open for a long time. It enables Remote Login on a remote device. Save the script somewhere (from now on referred to as /path/to/script/). Copy the script to the other device.

tell application "System Preferences" to set current pane to pane "com.apple.preferences.sharing"
tell application "System Events" to tell process "System Preferences"
    click checkbox 1 of row 6 of table 1 of scroll area 1 of group 1 of window "Sharing"
end tell

This enables remote login. Now, to disable remote management and enable screen sharing, use the same script, but remove the 3rd line and add these 2 lines:

tell application "System Preferences" to set current pane to pane "com.apple.preferences.sharing"
tell application "System Events" to tell process "System Preferences"
    click checkbox 1 of row 7 of table 1 of scroll area 1 of group 1 of window "Sharing"
    click checkbox 1 of row 2 of table 1 of scroll area 1 of group 1 of window "Sharing"
end tell

To copy this script on the remote device, use scp (secure copy). To use scp type
scp /path/to/script username@IP.of.other.device:/some/path
OR
scp username@hostnameOfDevice:/some/path/
The second option (using the device hostname) requires that the devices are on a computer-to-computer network, so it will not work on a normal wifi network. You will see a prompt requesting the password of username. When you type the password, you will not see any text appear (obviously to prevent people from seeing the password).

Once it is copied, remotely log into the device:
ssh username@IP.of.other.device
OR
ssh username@hostnameOfDevice
Again, the use of the hostname requires computer-to-computer network. Once logged in, run the script using osascript /some/path/theScript.scpt (remember that using scp we copied the script to /some/path, this will be different on your device). This will disable remote management and enable screen sharing.
Good luck!