macOS – Fix Mac Waking Up After a Few Seconds

For the last few weeks I've run into issues with my 2017 MacBook Air on macOS Catalina 10.15.1. (Edit: it also happens on 10.15.2 and 10.15.3.)

Whenever I go tell it to sleep (either through closing the lid or the context menu or CMD + Shift + Q) it wakes up after about 2 seconds.

I've already tried the following things with no avail:

1. Reset SMC
2. Reset NVRAM
3. Boot into safe mode
4. Disconnect any devices
5. Log into another user
6. Disable wifi
7. Disable waking up the mac from lid opening
8. Disable hibernation
9. Disable boot on lan

I've got the following log outputs

pmset -g assertions:

2020-01-19 23:19:43 +0100 
Assertion status system-wide:
   BackgroundTask                 0
   ApplePushServiceTask           0
   UserIsActive                   1
   PreventUserIdleDisplaySleep    0
   PreventSystemSleep             0
   ExternalMedia                  0
   PreventUserIdleSystemSleep     0
   NetworkClientActive            0
Listed by owning process:
pid 133(powerd): [0x000009910009a039] 00:00:01 UserIsActive named: "com.apple.powermanagement.wakeschedule"  
    Timeout will fire in 0 secs Action=TimeoutActionRelease

# This line is repeated with incrementing hex numbers within the 
# brackets literally thousands of times

Timeout will fire in 2 secs Action=TimeoutActionRelease
   pid 176(hidd): [0x0000002600098dfc] 00:00:00 UserIsActive named: "com.apple.iohideventsystem.queue.tickle serviceID:100000337 name:AppleHIDKeyboardEve product:Apple Internal Keyb eventType:3"  
    Timeout will fire in 120 secs Action=TimeoutActionRelease
No kernel assertions.
Idle sleep preventers: IODisplayWrangler

And log show | grep -i "Wake reason" (shortened):

2020-01-19 23:12:44.154039+0100 0x3a0      Default     0x0                  204    0    airportd: systemWokenByWiFi: System Wake Reason not found
2020-01-19 23:12:44.154170+0100 0x3a0      Default     0x0                  204    0    airportd: systemWokenByWiFi: System Wake Reason not found
2020-01-19 23:12:44.154277+0100 0x3a0      Default     0x0                  204    0    airportd: systemWokenByWiFi: System Wake Reason not found
2020-01-19 23:12:44.240592+0100 0x5dbc     Default     0x0                  204    0    airportd: systemWokenByWiFi: System Wake Reason not found

Activity monitor shows kernel_task with by far the most idle wakeups but that bit of information seems somewhat useless