Diff Command – Why It Reports Two Files Differ When They Are the Same

sort can be used to get the files into the same order so diff can compare them and identify the differences. If you have process substitution, you can use that and avoid creating new sorted files.

diff <(sort file1) <(sort file2)

You don't need patch for this; it's for extracting changes and sending them on without the unchanged part of the file.

The tool for merging two versions of a file is merge, but as @vonbrand wrote, you need the "base" file from which your two versions diverged. To do a merge without it, use diff like this:

diff -DVERSION1 file1.xml file2.xml > merged.xml

It will enclose each set of changes in C-style #ifdef/#ifndef "preprocessor" commands, like this:

#ifdef VERSION1
<stuff added to file1.xml>
#endif
...
#ifndef VERSION1
<stuff added to file2.xml>
#endif

If a line or region differs between the two files, you'll get a "conflict", which looks like this:

#ifndef VERSION1
<version 1>
#else /* VERSION1 */
<version 2>
#endif /* VERSION1 */

So save the output in a file, and open it in an editor. Search for any places where #else comes up, and resolve them manually. Then save the file and run it through grep -v to get rid of the remaining #if(n)def and #endif lines:

grep -v '^#if' merged.xml | grep -v '^#endif' > clean.xml

In the future, save the original version of the file. merge can give you much better results with the help of the extra information. (But be careful: merge edits one of the files in-place, unless you use -p. Read the manual).