Ubuntu – Nvidia not working on Ubuntu 17.10 on Xorg

I have a Dell Mobile Precision 5510 with hybrid graphics, both an Intel HD Graphics 530 chip and an Nvidia Quadro M1000M.

I'd like to switch to the Nvidia chip to run some games on SteamOS but can't get it to work.

Dell offers this guide, which is:

sudo apt-get purge libvdpau-va-gl1 bumblebee* nvidia*
sudo apt-get install nvidia-387 nvidia-settings nvidia-prime
sudo reboot

Then

nvidia-settings

or

sudo prime-select nvidia

or

sudo prime-switch nvidia

And a reboot, but none of those work for me.

When I try nvidia-settings:

ERROR: Error querying enabled displays on GPU 0 (Missing Extension).

ERROR: Error querying connected displays on GPU 0 (Missing Extension).

** Message: PRIME: No offloading required. Abort
** Message: PRIME: is it supported? no

ERROR: nvidia-settings could not find the registry key file. This file 
should have been installed along with this driver at
/usr/share/nvidia/nvidia-application-profiles-key-documentation. 
The application profiles will continue to work, but values cannot be
prepopulated or validated, and will not be listed in the help text.
Please see the README for possible values and descriptions.

When I try sudo-prime-switch nvidia:

/etc/modprobe.d is not a file
/etc/modprobe.d is not a file
/etc/modprobe.d is not a file
/etc/modprobe.d is not a file
/etc/modprobe.d is not a file
Error: can't open /lib/modules/4.13.0-16-lowlatency/updates/dkms
Error: can't open /lib/modules/4.13.0-16-lowlatency/updates/dkms
Error: can't open /lib/modules/4.13.0-16-lowlatency/updates/dkms
update-alternatives: error: no alternatives for x86_64-linux-gnu_gfxcore_conf

If I try sudo prime-select nvidia:

Info: the current GL alternatives in use are: ['mesa', 'mesa']
Info: the current EGL alternatives in use are: ['mesa-egl', 'nvidia-387']
Info: selecting nvidia-387 for the nvidia profile
update-alternatives: using /usr/lib/nvidia-387/ld.so.conf to provide /etc/ld.so.conf.d/x86_64-linux-gnu_GL.conf (x86_64-linux-gnu_gl_conf) in manual mode
update-alternatives: using /usr/lib/nvidia-387/ld.so.conf to provide /etc/ld.so.conf.d/x86_64-linux-gnu_EGL.conf (x86_64-linux-gnu_egl_conf) in manual mode
update-alternatives: using /usr/lib/nvidia-387/alt_ld.so.conf to provide /etc/ld.so.conf.d/i386-linux-gnu_GL.conf (i386-linux-gnu_gl_conf) in manual mode

That last one seems promising, if I try sudo prime-select query afterward I get:

nvidia

Great. Except if I reboot, it goes back to Intel, as if nothing happened. Or if I try nvidia-settings afterward, same error.

I already have secure boot completely disabled.

If I open additional drivers by entering software-properties-gtk --open-tab=4 the selected option is set to:

Using NVIDIA binary driver - version 387.22 from nvidia-387 (open source)

Lot of similar questions but none offer a solution beyond what I've tried above.

• Can't get nVidia drivers working with 16.04, logs out right after login
• Nvidia driver installed, but not working!
• Ubuntu 16.04 nvidia drivers don't work
• Graphics issues after/while installing Ubuntu 16.04/16.10 with NVIDIA graphics
• Nvidia driver not working (Error querying enabled displays on GPU 0 (Missing Extension). )

I'm booting onto Ubuntu Xorg. When I run `nvidia-settings the program runs with the above error message but I don't see any option to switch cards (no "PRIME Profiles" option).

Any ideas?