MySQL – How to Select Other Rows Based on One Matching Row

SELECT A.*
FROM default_relations_users A
LEFT JOIN default_relations_users B
ON  A.id_user_rq = B.id_user_ap
AND A.id_user_ap = B.id_user_rq
WHERE B.id_user_rq IS NULL;

I loaded you sample data (I added an additional index)

mysql> use Reynierpm
Database changed
mysql> DROP TABLE IF EXISTS `default_relations_users`;
Query OK, 0 rows affected (0.00 sec)

mysql> CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS `default_relations_users` (
    ->   `id_user_rq` int(11) NOT NULL,
    ->   `id_user_ap` int(11) NOT NULL,
    ->   UNIQUE KEY `rusers_rq_ap_idx` (`id_user_rq`,`id_user_ap`),
    ->   UNIQUE KEY `rusers_ap_eq_idx` (`id_user_ap`,`id_user_rq`)
    -> ) ENGINE=MyISAM DEFAULT CHARSET=utf8 COLLATE=utf8_unicode_ci;
Query OK, 0 rows affected (0.05 sec)

mysql> INSERT INTO `default_relations_users` (`id_user_rq`, `id_user_ap`) VALUES
    -> (1, 2), (1, 3), (1, 4), (2, 1), (2, 2), (2, 3);
Query OK, 6 rows affected (0.00 sec)
Records: 6  Duplicates: 0  Warnings: 0

mysql> select * from default_relations_users;
+------------+------------+
| id_user_rq | id_user_ap |
+------------+------------+
|          1 |          2 |
|          1 |          3 |
|          1 |          4 |
|          2 |          1 |
|          2 |          2 |
|          2 |          3 |
+------------+------------+
6 rows in set (0.00 sec)

mysql>

Here is the result of my answer

mysql> SELECT A.*
    -> FROM default_relations_users A
    -> LEFT JOIN default_relations_users B
    -> ON  A.id_user_rq = B.id_user_ap
    -> AND A.id_user_ap = B.id_user_rq
    -> WHERE B.id_user_rq IS NULL;
+------------+------------+
| id_user_rq | id_user_ap |
+------------+------------+
|          1 |          3 |
|          1 |          4 |
|          2 |          3 |
+------------+------------+
3 rows in set (0.00 sec)

mysql>

Give it a Try !!!

mysql> SELECT A.*
    -> FROM default_relations_users A
    -> LEFT JOIN default_relations_users B
    -> ON  A.id_user_rq = B.id_user_ap
    -> AND A.id_user_ap = B.id_user_rq
    -> WHERE B.id_user_rq IS NULL
    -> AND A.id_user_rq = 1;
+------------+------------+
| id_user_rq | id_user_ap |
+------------+------------+
|          1 |          3 |
|          1 |          4 |
+------------+------------+
2 rows in set (0.01 sec)

mysql>

My first thought would be to use the INFORMATION_SCHEMA first, so you get to know (in one query for all tables in the MySQL instance) which tables have an active column and then use that info to construct your queries. And this is probably the most sane approach.

There is one other, tricky way though that works no matter if the table has or not such a column:

SELECT 
  ( SELECT COUNT(*)
    FROM TableName AS t
    WHERE active = 1
  ) AS cnt
FROM
  ( SELECT 1 AS active
  ) AS dummy ;

Tested at SQL-Fiddle How it works?

If the table has a column named active, the query is "translated" as if it had:

    WHERE t.active = 1

If the table doesn't have a column named active, the query is "translated" as if it had:

    WHERE dummy.active = 1         -- which is true