No, unless you buy a specific mouse
The option to define custom mouse acceleration curves was present in OS X 10.4, but apple simplified it in 10.5, and removed it entirely in 10.6.
Mouse Curve is a supposedly forthcoming pref-pane that completely replaces the OS X mouse HID kext. However, development is really slow, or stalled.
Personally, I have poked about a bit in the kernel myself, but am unfamiliar with kernel programming. Fixing the mouse acceleration on OS X will at minimum require a custom kext, which is non-trivial to code.
The option that is out there is to buy a Microsoft mouse, and use it on OS X. Microsoft has released custom drivers for their mice that mimic the mouse behavior on windows.
Essentially, the windows "Enhance Pointer Precision" option applies linear velocity-based acceleration to the mouse movements, e.g. the distance moved is proportional to the speed the mouse moves. Think of it as basically having the DPI of the mouse inversely proportional to the mouse's speed.
OS X on the other hand, has a stepped acceleration curve, where the mouse moves at one DPI when slow, and another when moved faster then a threshold.
There are pref-panes that let you disable OS X's acceleration curve, but none that allow you to substitute windows.
As far as I can tell (and this is opinion), this curve is optimized for trackpads. In my opinion, it is more then useless for mice (using a mac mouse actually damaged my mousing efficacy on windows, which really affects my work (CAD Stuff)).
Personally, I have entirely dispensed with the idea of using a mouse on OS X, and ust bought a Magic Trackpad.
Those extra four pins on your DVI to VGA adapter actually carry the VGA signal; the adapter doesn't actually do any adapting. (The terminology is: DVI-D is digital-only like your mini-DVI to DVI adapter, while DVI-I carries both DVI and VGA, like your cable.)
The hardware solution is to get a mini-DVI to VGA adapter (from Apple or elsewhere).
Best Answer
In the Screen Sharing app, go to the View menu and click "Customize Toolbar..." There's a button you can add to the toolbar called "Cursor" that toggles your Mac's mouse cursor. You can turn it off so you'll only see the one on the remote machine instead of both the remote and local cursor.