My daughter shares a mac with me and we often want the same songs but have separate iTunes accounts. How do we share our music so we don't pay twice for the song on the same computer?
Sharing iTunes purchases
itunessharing
Related Solutions
Home sharing should allow you to see each other's libraries over your home network, and drag apps from your wife's onto yours and vice versa. You can definitely do this despite having two accounts - my wife and I have a similar problem. You may have to enter both passwords from time to time to authorize purchases, though.
I found some help setting this up from "Activating Home Sharing in iTunes".
I believe you can also sort hers by "items I don't have" so you can see what she might have bought of interest to you, although I'm not sure you can automatically sync them.
This SuperUser question seems to suggest that merging two accounts is not an option:
Can I merge 2 iTunes Store accounts?
You can use separate iTunes accounts, but the HomeSharing account must be the same. You will need to authorize each other's computers/devices with both iTunes accounts in order to play back content purchased under the other account.
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Best Answer
Copy the protected music file as you would normally. When you play for the first time any protected files from a specific iTunes account, it will prompt you to authorize the machine. I believe the current limit is 5 machines, and you'll have to be connected to the internet when you enter your credentials, but after that it will be able to play any song from that account.
You can also look into iTunes Match, though honestly I've encountered so many issues, I can't recommend it outright.