Since the Screen Sharing feature seems to be the only one unable to connect, the best way to diagnose its behavior is by using the application directly.
Please, launch screen sharing located in:
/System/Library/CoreServices/ScreenSharing.app
The application has no visible "UI" so don't expect a fancy Cocoa interface. Instead, once you have loaded it, all you'll see is this "poor" icon in the Dock:
Click on it and then go to Preferences in the Mac menu bar. You should be presented with:
Notice the second option to only encrypt passwords and keystrokes. That's fine, but as you can see, there's no option to skip encryption altogether. Some VNC versions have incompatibilities with encryption, but this would be rather shocking since you're talking about OS X vs OS X.
In any case, once you have the settings like that, try connecting, again, in the menu bar: Connection -> New (or ⌘cmd + N).
A simple dialog appears asking you to enter the Host's name. Following your screenshots, try: 192.168.1.99 and hit enter.
We'll see what happens from here. Also, have the Console.app open on both computers, to see if there are any System messages going on (or anything related).
ssh into the remote Mac and kill the screensharingd daemon.
$ ps ax | grep screen
1234 ?? Ss 0:00.02 /System/Library/CoreServices/RemoteManagement/screensharingd.bundle/Contents/MacOS/screensharingd
$ sudo kill 1234
It works for me. I have Mac OS X Lion on both local and remote computers.
Best Answer
I had the same trouble, and to a headless Mini also. This is what I found that worked…
I had the opportunity to install an SSD in my Mini, and did a clean install of Lion at that time, and the issue persisted.
I made an alias