IPhone – Way to Group MMS on iPhone4s and NOT have everyone see each other’s replies

Unfortunately the current version of iOS doesn't natively give us much control over something like that.

As I'm sure you are already aware of, it does allow us to turn off Group Messaging (and MMS Settings > Messages). However, that would defeat group texts in general - not just replies.

.....Maybe the next OS will?

I am fairly "late to the game", but since no answer has been accepted yet, my input might still be useful:

• the "meeting highjacking" you describe in your question is fairly well known with Exchange and the iOS calendar app; in fact it can be even worse where simply accepting an invite on your phone may make you the "owner" of the meeting; this seems to happen more often the larger the number of meeting attendees gets. This issue is so severe that in my company we discourage people from accepting meeting invites from their phones.
• as for the "butchered description" you describe in your answer: this, too is a well known issue between Exchange and the iOS calendar. iOS 8.3 supposedly fixed it, but since those cut off notes do not happen all the time, we do not have enough data yet at work to say for sure.